TV Program

Current Episode

Conquering Stress

SERIES: Health Series #3 of 6

2007-01-28

PRODUCTION #: 1083

SPEAKERS: Shawn Boonstra, Fred Hardinge,

You have just received a letter informing you that you are way behind on your taxes, and as you're reading that letter, the phone rings and a coworker tells you that you're expected to make a big presentation tomorrow that you didn't know about. Your wife is having surgery and the kids are running wild through the house. Suddenly you feel a knot in the pit of your stomach. A cold sweat starts to form between your eyebrows and you can feel every inch of your body tighten up. Your mind begins to race. What are you going to do? Well, you have to do something.

We've all heard over the last 20 years or so that stress can be a real killer.

Today on It Is Written I have someone who can give you the tools you need to both understand stress and deal with it.

Recent statistics show that stress levels are on the rise all around the world. Maybe it has something to do with longer hours, leaner staffing, and a non-stop global appetite for productivity. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that both parents have to work just to make ends meet and the demands on their kids are much bigger than they were a generation ago. Or maybe it has something to do with the technological age, which instead of saving us time has given us e-mail and cell phones and has made us cram every minute of the day into our already impossible work schedule.

Whatever it is, stress has become a real problem over the last few decades and we're all getting fed up with it. Only a few of us are wealthy enough to walk away from the rat race, so the rest of us have to learn to deal with it.

And to help us accomplish that, I've asked my friend, Dr. Fred Hardinge, a specialist in the field of health and nutrition, to join us on the show today.

INTERVIEW

SHAWN: Dr. Hardinge, it's just great to have you back on It Is Written.

FRED: Thank you. I'm delighted to be here today.

SHAWN: You know, stress is something that, well, I'm glad we're talking about it. This is something everybody talks about. We've been hearing about this for a couple of decades now. People have workshops on stress. Why don't we define it? What exactly is stress?

FRED: It's the wear and tear of everyday living and its impact on us. Stress is a very interesting subject and we all experience it. I think that it was first identified many years ago when a biologist was sitting on his veranda watching his favorite cat out in the yard. The cat was relaxing in the sun when a strange dog walked into the yard. And as he was watching the cat's reaction to that strange dog, and we all know what the reaction is, he wondered what was going on inside the cat. And that led to the beginning of research on stress.

SHAWN: Really? So it was a cat and a dog experience.

FRED: That's right. We all know that the cat's hair stood up and it hissed at the dog. That was an emergency response that the cat had and, when the dog left, the cat relaxed and went on. And that happens to us as human beings. When we experience emergencies, like the car in front of us that slams on its brakes and we have to make a sudden stop in order to avoid an accident, our heart rate rises, our respiration goes up, all kinds of things happen within us that prepares us for that emergency. That's a form of stress. But it's a short-term stress. It doesn't last very long. And it goes away.

SHAWN: I know that in a traffic situation, your heart rate eventually comes back down, your knuckles are not quite so white, and you wipe away that little bit of cold sweat on your forehead. But what about real stress, day-to-day stress? I know that's real, too, but I think you know what I mean. I'm not so worried about the odd thing in traffic, I'm worried about the stuff I face in the office every day.

FRED: That is a form of the same physiological response. It's not quite as high a level, but it's over a longer period of time, and that's what takes the toll on us.

SHAWN: Now, you and I have chitchatted about this a little bit before. And you have pointed out to me that there's an important distinction that needs to be made when we're understanding or talking about stress. What was that distinction?

FRED: It's very important for us to recognize that stress is a very individual thing. And what bothers you may not bother me. What is extremely stressful for you may not be stressful for your wife at all. She may actually relish and enjoy it, where you find it to be extremely disturbing.

SHAWN: You know, I'm thinking about when I got conned into going to a wedding shower, just prior to our wedding. Jean was in her element. She was delighting in it and I found it very, very stressful. I was completely a fish out of water. I know exactly what you're talking about.

FRED: See, to her it was a positive experience. To you it was somewhat negative in the way you responded to it.

SHAWN: Right, okay.

FRED: And we can respond at one time to the same set of circumstances differently than we would at another time. So there is a dynamic in terms of how we respond to these various issues in life that we call stressful.

SHAWN: Now, you have discussed with me that there is a difference between stress and stressors. What's that difference?

FRED: Many people like to blame their stress, as they perceive it and describe it, on what's happening out there. But in reality, because of what we just described, stress is our response to what is happening. So we have to make a distinction between the stress we experience based upon our own reactions and the stressors, those things out there that are causing it. And, as I suggested, what is a stressor to me may not be to you.

SHAWN: Right. So it's important for us to understand whether or not stress is out there or in here.

FRED: Absolutely.

SHAWN: All right. Now, I know that there has been an explosion it seems since the seventies and eighties, particularly the eighties. We have all these business management gurus running around the countryside talking about how to deal with stress. There are so many self-help books out there, it's making me wonder, is this something that has become a giant problem? Is this something we're all living with?

FRED: It is a giant problem. And today medical research is recognizing that uncontrolled stress that's prolonged, that we live with all the time, is influencing us in many ways. It lowers our resistance to disease. Our new research suggests that it may actually be a contributor to the obesity epidemic in this country, because as cortisol (which is sometimes called the stress hormone) levels go up, it increases our desire to eat. And maybe even to eat in an uncontrolled fashion. It may actually influence the desire to eat things that are more calorically dense, which contributes to the problem of being overweight.

SHAWN: Now, is that why it seems to be that when somebody has a really bad day at work, what do they do? They come home and put on a big pot of comfort food. They'll have macaroni or mashed potatoes, but they'll eat a lot more than they usually do.

FRED: Or three scoops of ice cream?

SHAWN: Oh yeah, three scoops of ice cream is good for a bad day.

FRED: Or four?

SHAWN: Yeah, four is even better.

FRED: I recently talked to a lady who was under a great deal of stress and she didn't realize that the stress was influencing what she was eating and she was eating close to a half a gallon of ice cream in the evening while she watched television.

SHAWN: A half-gallon of ice cream. Now, does that actually do something?

FRED: She wondered why she was gaining weight.

SHAWN: Yeah, half a gallon of ice cream, I can figure that one out. Does it actually do something? You eat all this food at night to calm down, soothe your nerves from the day, does it actually do anything?

FRED: It actually only potentiates the stress experience and it doesn't really solve the issues of stress. Stress is the sum total of all of the stressful experiences we have in life. So if we have this problem and this problem and this problem, as we perceive it, we're going to be under more stress than if we change our responses to some of those things.

SHAWN: Now, this is such a big subject and I know that in a short program we don't have time to really explore it. But I have all kinds of questions about stress, because I live with it every day, just like thousands of people reading this transcript at this moment live with it. But I've noticed, it doesn't all seem to be equal stress. The stress that I face when I'm in the forest and a bear comes around the corner is a different stress than I feel when I'm out on water skis behind a boat. That's stressful, too, but I'm happy. I love doing it. Or I'm mountain climbing. You know, stress doesn't seem to be equal.

FRED: You're absolutely right, and that's very individual to you. I was camping one time in the Sierra Nevada and in the middle of the night I was awakened by some noise and I crawled to the tent door, which was open, I hadn't even zipped it up. It was a beautiful night and I looked out and I met a bear about six inches from my nose. He was a real bear. I could smell his breath.

SHAWN: Was there any stress?

FRED: There was a lot of stress at that moment! I had that fight-or-flight response. I was ready to run and if I had gone through the other side of the tent (even though there was no door or window there) I probably would have left my wife there, too.

SHAWN: Somehow, that's real stress.

FRED: That's real stress. But then I realized the bear didn't move toward me, instead he backed up and walked off and out of the campground. When it was gone and I was sure it was gone, I moved again and I went back to my sleeping bag, and a few minutes later I fell asleep.

Now, that probably didn't do me any harm. The problem that occurs in life is that we meet bears all the time. We live with bears and work with bears, so to speak. And when they are always with us, when we're always responding in this stressful fashion, we wear ourselves out.

SHAWN: We never get the bow unstrung.

FRED: That's exactly right. And that is where it becomes harmful to us.

SHAWN: So we've taken a natural response, we have taken a natural function of our physiology and what we've done is that we live with it inside, day in, day out, all day long and we never, ever back off from it.

FRED: Exactly, and that energy that we have to expend to deal with our stress reactions eventually wears out.

SHAWN: Now, not all stress is bad, though, right? I mean, a minute ago I was describing the stress I feel when I'm doing something exciting. You know, racing down a mountainside on a set of skis, that's stress, but why is that different? There is good stress and bad stress.

FRED: There is good stress and bad stress. We call it you-stress, which means it's healthful and helpful and productive, or dis-tress, which is the harmful kind. And there are many good kinds of stresses and we need those. We actually need a certain amount of stress in order to live and be productive. But when it goes beyond the point of helpfulness, it can become unhealthful, or distressful.

SHAWN: So what is the difference to our bodies? Why is good stress good for us or enjoyable, and bad stress bad? What is the difference?

FRED: Well, the goal, Shawn, is to manage it within healthy limits. When the alarm rings in the morning, that's a form of stress.

SHAWN: It sure is.

FRED: Most of us would like to just stay there and sleep another 15 minutes or 30 minutes. But it is helpful to us in everything in life so that we can be productive, so we can be to our appointments on time and not cause stress to other people.

SHAWN: How does stress damage our health? I mean, this is a bad stress. Is our goal in life to eliminate all stress? Is that what we're after?

FRED: No, we actually want to use stress to our own advantage. And we want to eliminate as much of the distress as possible.

SHAWN: Okay. How do we do it? I mean, first of all, what actually is it that stress does to us? How does it damage our bodies? I mean, sure, we don't like it and it makes us irritable maybe, or things like that, but what is it that it's actually doing to us?

FRED: Stress causes many things within the human body. It can produce headaches. It can actually increase the risk of backaches. It certainly disturbs sleep patterns. It produces fatigue, because it's so wearing on us. It's exhibited in worry and anxiety, and we see lots of people with a great deal of that in life today. When we are highly stressed we become less productive in our useful activities and life at home, etc. It contributes to burnout, breakdown. And many people become very apathetic, that's their way of dealing with it. Not really a positive way, but that's the way they deal with it.

SHAWN: You just shut everything out, stop caring about it.

FRED: That's exactly right.

SHAWN: And that's just protective. You are putting a callus over the wound so that it doesn't hurt you anymore.

FRED: We talked a few minutes ago about cortisol levels rising as a result of this long-term, prolonged stress, that weakens our immune system and we become more vulnerable to the flu and common colds. There are many examples out there of people who have experienced a very high stress level and the very next thing, they have the flu.

SHAWN: Yeah, well, that happens to me all the time. After big projects or after a very stressful travel schedule, I get sick.

FRED: Even something as helpful as running, doing it too much can be stressful. We found that marathon runners are more subject to common colds and the flu after the marathon than before.

SHAWN: Amazing. Now this is where it becomes a spiritual issue for me. I'm thinking about this text in First Corinthians. Because if this actually damages us, if our immune systems go down, if it fatigues us, if it makes us apathetic, it becomes a bit of a spiritual issue.

You know what it says, Doctor, in First Corinthians, chapter six and verse 19. It says, "Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God; and you are not your own for you are bought with a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body and your spirit which are God's." 1 (Corinthians 6:19, 20)

"What, Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own. For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

God is saying, "Hey, I've paid a huge price for you, the blood of my Son was paid for you, I own you." And so now it's an issue of spiritual stewardship. This body is not mine.

So, the thing I would love to share with viewers today, look, I want to take care of this body God gave me. I want to be healthy. I want to eliminate the harmful effects of stress to the best of my ability, so I'm healthier to serve God better and to be better for my family, and so on. What do we do? How do we deal with stress? Share with me some of the positive and some of the negative ways that people actually cope with this.

FRED: Well, there are many negative ways that we see people dealing with stress. Many people just deny it and pretend that it's okay. The use of alcohol, tranquilizers and antidepressants are very common in society today. And those may be simply a person's response to dealing with stress, but those really don't deal with our own choices and how we respond to the stresses. Binge eating, as we talked about. People may indulge by various ways, stay up late. They demand to be entertained. They try to distract themselves from these things that are really weighing on them and causing their stress. And some people feel sorry for themselves and become very emotional about it all. Those emotions and feelings control them instead of they controlling their life and choices.

And what is really important to remember is that you and I (as Christians and as human beings) have the ability to choose how we are going to respond to the various circumstances in life. And you know as I do, that there are people who have had tremendous stresses in their lives and have come out positive and stronger for it. And yet there are people with much smaller problems who have simply fallen apart as a result.

SHAWN: Listen, in the moments that we have left, I know that you have a number of points (eight things) that we can do to reduce stress in our life. Share with me what these positive steps are to conquer stress in our life.

FRED: Before I talk about the eight, let me say that I think the first step, and it is an important step but it covers all of them, is that we have to learn to take responsibility and control over our reactions. Now that is much easier to say than to do. So let's talk about those eight things that will help people accomplish what we've just said.

SHAWN: Fantastic. I know I want to hear them. There are thousands of people listening who are saying, yes, give me something to do.

FRED: The first step is to adopt a healthy lifestyle. When we have an unhealthy lifestyle, as we have already suggested, it actually weakens our ability to deal positively with the stresses that occur in our lives. So, an unhealthy person struggles more to deal positively with the things that come to them in life.

And that would involve an adequate amount of exercise. Exercise helps lower cortisol levels, appropriate exercise. If it's excessive, it tends to raise it. There is a balance in life. A diet that supports good health is also very important. (Not eating too much, etc.)

Number two, we need to learn not to over commit.

SHAWN: I'm guilty of that. I do it all the time.

FRED: I have trouble with that, too. But it's very important that we learn to not make promises that we can't fulfill or get to the point where everything then becomes negative to us because we feel under such great pressure.

Number three, we need to simplify our lives.

SHAWN: Yeah, that's a tough one.

FRED: It is a tough one, but there are some simple things that we can do that are very helpful. My wife and I have been talking about that recently and we've actually been doing some things to simplify our lives. We decided we didn't need as many flower beds, even though we love flowers, because they take so much care. Just something like that. And it's made a difference in our ability to do the things that we enjoy and that we find very recuperative.

When we come to making changes, we should master only one big change at a time. Some people want to change everything at once. That can become very stressful. We need to take time to relax and even learn to relax. Learn what it feels like to be relaxed, and that's hard for many people.

SHAWN: Most people reading this today, probably don't remember what it feels like to be absolutely relaxed. It's so scarce.

FRED: It is. We also need to be involved in physical activities. I can't mention that often enough. It's very, very important.

And then the seventh is that we need to learn to resolve conflicts. Conflicts between people, conflicts at home, conflicts with the children, conflicts at work are some of the most potent stressors and people need to learn to deal with that.

In doing so, they need to practice what I call number eight. And that is trusting in God and having a cheerful spirit. A cheerful heart is good like medicine. And that goes several ways. We can choose to be more cheerful in life. And when we act out by doing good things for other people, it also helps us be more cheerful and takes our minds off our own problems.

SHAWN: Fantastic. You know, Dr. Hardinge, I'm feeling better already. Thanks so much for joining us.

Today we found out that stress is just going to be a part of our lives, so the key to fixing it is not just getting rid of it, but learning to deal with it.

And one of the things that helps me a lot is to remember the fact that God himself understands what it's like to live on this planet. In fact, Jesus faced much higher levels of stress than you or I will ever face. In the Garden of Gethsemane as He faced the weight of our sins, He struggled with what was about to happen.

"Father," he said, "if it were at all possible I'd rather not go to the cross."

The Gospel according to Luke, which was written by a doctor, records that Jesus struggled so hard that the blood began to weep through his skin. It's a condition known as hematohidrosis where stress gets so bad that the little blood vessels that supply the sweat glands actually burst. And that tells me something. Jesus knew stress and he faced it head on, which means that we actually have a God up there who understands what we face down here.

The Book of Hebrews says in chapter four that we have a High Priest that feels our weaknesses and He faced the same temptations we do.

Here is the advice that passage gives us. (Hebrews 4:16)

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Here is what that means. All of our worst problems have already been taken care of. We no longer have to fear the very worst, that we might be lost to the kingdom of God. The Bible says that we have a loving heavenly Father who cares about what happens to us. If you remember, Jesus once said that not a hair can fall from your head that He doesn't notice. Now, He didn't say that the hair won't fall from your head, but he did say He will notice. And one day soon, He is going to put a stop to the suffering, that is His promise.

So let me ask you. What keeps you from turning your struggles, your worries over to Him? He has taken care of your worst problems already, why not let Him take care of some of the smaller ones, too?

Dr. Hardinge, I know there is someone out there who thinks that they can't face the load that they're carrying. I'd love to ask you to just share a prayer with us and pray for that person.

FRED: Sure.

PRAYER:
Gracious Father, we are so thankful that you love us so much that you're willing to be involved in our own lives. And if there is someone who is struggling with what seems to be insurmountable odds, enormous mountains of stress, I pray, Lord, that you would touch them and give them strength and comfort and bring cheerfulness and help into their lives, in Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

SHAWN: You know, I know that many of you reading this today are dealing with a lot of stress, and we didn't really have time to cover everything we would like to. So Dr. Hardinge, I'd love it if just in these last few moments you would give us those eight points again for dealing with stress.

FRED: The first one is to choose a healthy lifestyle.

SHAWN: Okay, healthy lifestyle.

FRED: Second is not to over commit.

SHAWN: Not to over commit.

FRED: Third is to simplify life.

SHAWN: Okay, so get rid of things you don't need or pare it down a little.

FRED: Number four is to remember to not try to make all changes at one time, especially when they're big ones. Do it one at a time.

Number five is to take time to relax.

Number six is to be physically active.

SHAWN: Get out and get some exercise.

FRED: Number seven is to resolve conflicts positively.

SHAWN: Very good.

FRED: And the last one is to trust in God.

SHAWN: Fantastic. Eight points, all very good points, and I know that it's still a lot for people to digest. And one of the best things you can do this week to help with stress is that number eight, to trust in God. And how do you trust God? Well, a good start is to spend more time in the Bible, studying His Word and seeing His promises.

Scriptures Used in “Conquering Stress”

"What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
—1 Corinthians 6:19, 20

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
—Hebrews 4:16